profile.
Narcissism.
Nicholas Goh
SEXXX: Male(DUH...)
Age: Supposedly 16+(Can be older or younger if you want me to;P)
Alignment: VERY STRAIGHT (As staight as it goes...)
HomeLikeNoOther:Tampines, Singapore
Co-Curriculum Activity: Sec Sch~ DRaMa CluB
LIFESAVING/ SWIMMING
PrisonBreaks:Pri-TampinesNorthPrimarySchool
Sec-CoralSecondarySchool(1E4, 2E3, 3/8, 4/8)
JC- MJC!!!(08S304!!)
A fan of the ORANGE
My Loves...(Read CAREFULLY)
food: Foie Gras(I discovered my love for it some time ago.), Sushi, Steak (Medium Rare), SPICY curry, Chocolate
books: Fantasy, Comics, Harry Potter series, Dan Brown.
Random quote by ME: When you love someone, the less you know why, the better...
music: Rock, Classical, Oldies, Emo, lots as long as it's nice... (Just no techno)
girls: Like i'll tell you... XP Hahahaha!!!
doingstuffies: Reading, Facebooking, Cycling, drumming, randomizing, sleeping, Drawing and doodling, XBOXING, etc.ing...
Another RandomQuote: Insert here...
MagicMirror: Heroes series,BigBangTheory, Stardust(superFUNNY&RANDOM!), Nice shows!
Some Weird Blogthings
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What Nicholas Goh Means
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You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.
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OH MY F-ing GOD! Well, it's almost 95% true... Hahaha...
| What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be. |
| Losing Someone | |
| Being Alone | |
| Where Your life is Going | |
| Commitment | |
| Looked down on | |
| Death | |
What is your True Fear?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz |
Sunday, August 5, 2012
12:32 PM
This is a story about a boy, not yet a man, but not really a boy. He understood the realities of life, but still, he clung onto the fragile pieces of hope for the world, for a story tale ending. He grew up in a middle class family in the rural area, where he excelled in his studies and was one of the brightest students there. This boy’s name was Nico, and he never asked to live a life so miserable, so complicated. He wanted to earn enough money to support his family and to find the love of his life and marry her, live happily ever after… But it wasn’t meant to be.
Nico’s best friend, Loki, was a class clown, never really excelling in anything and was just a very friendly guy. However, Nico was always jealous of Loki because he had something Nico was very curious about… Love. Loki had a girlfriend and from Nico’s point of view, they were happy and although Nico was glad Loki had it good. Nico felt discontent, he wanted to feel love, to be as happy as the two of them and most importantly, find someone he felt right with.
As fate would have it, Nico found her and she was everything he wanted, smart, witty, independent, kind, honest yet understanding. Nico didn’t know what to do, but with the help of a mutual friend, he was able to meet her. He wooed her for over a year and finally, after confessing his feelings to her, they were together.
However, this didn’t turn out to be the happily ever after he thought it’d be... She had a short temper and erratic mood swings, and Nico didn’t know what to do, due to his inexperience. Almost one month into the relationship, he bought a necklace for her, and was about to present it to her when she broke up with him. He didn’t know what had happened at that time, when he thought he was doing alright, she dumped him without an explanation. He broke.
At that time, he had just started studying in a new school, where normally he would have fit in fine, he crumbled and failed. Amongst people who had been one of the best in their old schools, he could do nothing in his distracted mind, he couldn’t study and so his happy life changed for the worse.
Over the two years in his new school, he could not forget her. He suffered every time he heard her name and saw her face. It nearly killed him when he heard she had gotten a new guy just months after him. He told himself he was over-reacting and that his life was worth more than that. However, there was nothing that could get him out of that deep dark hole that she left in him.
After leaving school, he was enlisted in the army, serving 2 years for his country allowed him to recuperate and build a new life. However, the new life he built over the ruins of his fantasy dream was too different, he went out into the nightlife, he partied and drank, he found girls that were as broken as him and tried to glue the broken pieces of his life together. Then, he found a girl, an innocent girl who in the dark world full of deceit hadn’t lost her purity and light. Also, she hadn’t lost the spark of hope and waited for a prince to sweep her off her feet. So, he did just that.
He promised her a happy life, the one that he had so yearned for in the past. He promised her safety and shelter, the one that he so badly needed. He promised her his love, the one that he had already given away.
Nico realized that no matter how perfect she was… He could not love her with his heart so damaged, he fought himself over the decision to stay with her and have a chance of recovery but a higher chance of hurting her even more, or to end it right then and there, to hurt her, but not leaving too much damage.
He asked himself if he thought it could last, if he thought he could continue being in a relationship in which he could not love, that was when he got his answer. He left her, telling her everything, how he felt, why he felt it and what he thought, hearing this she cried and pleaded but in the end, she understood. For that, Nico was eternally grateful, he knew that he could not return to her even after he mended his heart, but he felt that if he had met her first, before anything had happened, he would have been happy.
After that, he went back into his old routine of drinking and nightlife, but this time, he felt more alive, his heart felt fuller. This however, did not bring about any good news; he went from club to club finding girls to toy with, to fill in the remaining holes in his heart. On one of those nights, he found a girl, who while he danced with her asked him in a cautious tone, “Are you like all the other guys? Will you leave me like they did?” Not knowing how troubled she was, Nico simply hugged her close and told her that he wasn’t like other guys.
After that night, Nico decided to break his rule of not meeting any club girls outside the club and went out with her. After a few dates, he decided to start a relationship with her, which turned out to be a really bad idea. With the label of girlfriend in place, he realised that he could not get himself to commit himself to her. He felt the label too important for a girl he just met in a club. So he broke up with her, again explaining to her everything, making sure she wouldn’t feel that all guys were the same.
While thinking back, he felt the label of girlfriend too binding in his second relationship and in the first, too loose. He got afraid of being in a relationship and commitment seemed too serious a decision to be made. Understanding himself better than he had four years ago, Nico set rules for him, to ensure that he wouldn’t hurt himself or any other girls.
Just a month after he set those rules, he broke them, he met a girl, Min… His first impression of her wasn’t all that great, but after getting to know her, he felt interested. He wanted to know more about her, so he asked her out… Nico felt his heart healing faster than he thought possible, he felt happy with her, but now afraid of commitment, he avoided the relationship. However, Min was insecure, without a label, she didn’t know if Nico would just leave her. Nico didn’t want to lose her, so to sooth her, he decided to ask her to be his girlfriend, and so it started again.
Nico had a bad feeling about how it would turn out, but over two weeks, his fears were gone, he was happily into the relationship with Min and was satisfied with the way things were. However, nearing the one month anniversary, he felt that she was distancing herself, he started to get afraid, perhaps a little paranoid. The gaps that were able to seal up the trauma from his first relationship opened up. He thought again about the situation, after finishing his national service, he was just starting university, and one month into the relationship, he felt the uneasiness again.
He relapsed. He couldn’t sleep, he kept thinking what would happen if the same thing happened again. He wouldn’t be able to take it. So he went to ask her what was wrong, she replied saying it was nothing, that she was just not in the mood to talk to him. Mood swings she said…
Erratic mood swings… Nico felt an all too familiar feeling…
Nevertheless, he still decided to wait, and hope, and trust that she wouldn’t break him, and this time into pieces that would probably never be repaired.
Labels: Story, storytime
& I'm being random.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
8:20 PM
Is it bad to be obsessed with someone I barely know? At least I'm feeling something now... Not the previous emptiness... I think I'm afraid of committing to someone, especially the way I am... I put so much trust onto the person that I no longer trust myself.
Wait... Is that right?
I think I'm just afraid of the pain... The pain I felt before... And I'm committing the same mistakes as before... I'm either too pushy or too laid-back... Sigh... I should be able to do this.
And girl, happy birthday.
& I'm being random.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
5:56 AM
Help. My heart hurts. It's burning. It's cold. Damn it all. Why does it hurt? It's not even supposed to be there anymore... ARGHHHHHHHHH! Help... ...
The pain is making me different. I can't stand this. I can't take it. But I need to be strong. No one should be reading this now. No one would be reading this now....
& I'm being random.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
11:10 AM
I am abnormal? FUCK YOU!
It's not right my foot! It won't be right as a father to not tell me it's wrong? It's not right for a fucking father to tell his son he's ABNORMAL!
Hell, if it wasn't for your fucking heart I'd be talking back, but no. I need to sit there and take in all that crap about not being normal.
If I ever fucking snap and kill some one? I can safely say a large part of the blame can go to my father. All that anger that I can't express just so that you'd shut up? It's got to go somewhere right?
Instead, you continue to prod me, like a fucking kid hitting a beehive. Oh, what do you think we should do to help you? What is the cure? I'm not fucking SICK. UGH!
& I'm being random.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
7:41 AM
Hey, I think I've really lost my heart. I guess that's good?
Now that I've lost my heart, how about that soul of mine? I'm still too good...
I've lost the ability to really love I guess, now it's time to find a way to relieve me of the pain... The pain that I have been holding inside for oh so long...
How do I do that? By going out I guess. That's the only time I think I'll feel less empty. I've smiled, I've laughed, I've joked. All the time I still feel something wrong... Something missing.
Maybe if I go out and try my luck in the ocean... I might find someone to replace the gaping hole in my life...
I may break a few hearts, I may hurt a few people... But I guess that's just a part of life huh?
The heart, body and soul,
were supposed to be as one,
but a piece got broken from the trio,
and the life got undone.
Diverged from his predestined path,
where he once was to be great,
now dressed in rags and shackles,
he is now fueled by his hate.
The pain he feels lies unchecked,
he hides his torture from the rest,
still he screams within himself,
the agony beating his very best.
He's confused at people nowadays,
how do they love he asks,
when all they love are those devils,
only wearing kind and charming masks.
Now his heart torn asunder,
his soul holding by a thread,
his body tired from all the pain,
he just has one last verse to add...
I would love to say that I love you,
but before doing so I need to know,
would you love me as I'd love you,
and would I feel better with no soul.
& I'm being random.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
7:01 AM
I guess I can just pop in to say that I'm depressed. Hope no one really reads this anymore.. Not really showing it. Not really feeling it. But it's there... The destructive thoughts...
The damning emotions...
The feelings that drag me down... Down... down...
I can't see the way out,
thought I'd be out by now,
but in the end I just can't fight,
it's my own way of life.
I can't bear to hurt anyone,
even if it means bearing it alone,
I want to relieve this pain,
but to do so would be so unfair... To anyone...
I could just say yes,
I could just hold you closer,
I could just show you how I love,
But what I do is to protect you...
Protect you from my selfishness...
Because I know... I know there won't be any good...
Nothing good would come from it,
Only pain, confusion and despair,
more than there already is.
Let me tell you something,
If I had ever thought for a second,
you were the one I wanted, I needed,
I would have said yes, I would have given myself up.
But i'm sorry to say, You're not the one.
I'm sorry to say that I didn't feel anything,
I'm sorry I can't help you,
I'm sorry I can't help me... I wish you were... I wish I could...
But that isn't me... I wouldn't do that...
Oh how I wish I could just choose anyone...
And get this over with... Get the pain to dissipate...
The loneliness, the feeling of having no one, you know so well...
I know so well...
Well, yes, the way we cope.
It's completely different.
And you'll realize it soon. I hope. That I just don't think it's right.
Sigh, but how I wish it not to be so.
& I'm being random.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
9:17 AM
I'll always be here,
Never will I move away,
As long as you're near,
And no matter what they say.
Even if you don't see me,
Don't be afraid to call,
I'll be there real quickly,
Even if the sky starts to fall.
Don't worry when I get real down,
It's nothing but insecurities,
So my mind needs to be unwound,
To get rid of those uncertainties.
When I'm no longer here with you,
Don't worry because you're not alone,
That guy will know what to do,
He's like a reliable clone.
This last one is for the rain,
You better protect her at all cost,
And get used to some pain,
We all have our loves lost.
NG~
Labels: Poem
& I'm being random.
I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
I adopted a cute lil' tempura fetus
from Fetusmart! mm..yummy.